Jay Bird,
To say that the last month has been rough would be quite the understatement dear boy. I am not sure what is the appropriate adjective to describe our days lately however you continue to exhaust me day in and day out. To be fair you have had a rough month and a half with a terrible case of hand, foot and mouth disease which caused almost all of your nails and toenails to fall off a full month after you got it (gross I know), a week and a half stretch (half of which we were out of town for) of fevers, cold and coughs and then to top it off two gigantic jellyfish stings during our last beach trip. I was told that the half (1.5, 2.5, 3.5…) ages are usually the hardest and BOY do I believe that! Within the last week you have:
-jumped off of the ottoman onto my head, your jumping skills are improving and YAY for that but my head really?
-pushed Charlie (for no reason) over on the kitchen tile causing him to really hit his head
-refused to eat just about anything that I have put in front of you
-screamed your fool head off before and during swim lessons- did I mention we have to drag you out of any other pool we take you to
-ate chalk
-drew on the floor with chalk
-(accidentally) locked me out of the house (thank goodness the inside kitchen door was open and the garage door was up)
-let yourself out of the house and into the backyard while I was getting Charlie out of his highchair after lunch (he was screaming because he was being cleaned off so I didn’t hear you and spent a good few minutes frantically searching the house for you)
-said “no” to just about everything I have asked you to do…

AND that was just in three days… However, on the flip side you announce every morning when I get you out of bed “Good Morning Mommy, I waked up!”, you immediately want to play with your cars however, lately you have asked if “Mommy and Charlie will play wiff you”, you make your brother laugh like no one else can and check on him when he is hurt (even if the hurt is your doing), you colored some pictures to send to Grandpa in the hospital and when you were finished proclaimed “he’s gonna luv them Mommy, yes he is!”, you randomly give me kisses on the check and put your arm around my neck and you said “I love you Mommy” this morning for the first time on your own and without reason.

You exhaust me, wear heavily on my patience but continue to amazing and melt me all in the same breath. This ride is definitely a roller coaster and some days I feel like I am screaming all the way… but it is definitely a ride worth taking.

I love you Jay Bird and while I am anxious to leave this phase in the past I am not at all anxious for you to get older. So while even though we have our bad days, know that I will always love you no matter what. I love you Sweet Boy…

Love You,

letter to my jay bird

Jay Bird,

Two- two, you are two today!!  Holy- Moly guacamole, I am in disbelief.  Every day I stumble over the reality that you are mine… you light up my life and make each day better than the last.

You are a constant joy to be around little one and when I say constant I mean it!  You talk constantly, you move constantly- you are ALWAYS on the go.  Most frequently you are either playing cars or finding more cars to play with.  To say that you like cars right now would quite possibly be the understatement of the century, my sweet little boy you are obsessed!  Cars are you world;  they are literally the first thing that you talk about in the morning and the last thing you think about before closing your eyes.  They watch you eat breakfast, lunch and dinner.  You ask to get down from the table to play with them, we must have at least one of them with us at all times and they clutter every corner of your bed as you sleep.  You play with them nonstop, making them go fast, flip, crash, jump, fly- you name it, they do it.  I love watching you while you play; your imagination is immeasurable and man that is so, so wonderful!  This is not to say that you don’t enjoy other things aside from cars, you do.  You love to color, use stickers, work puzzles, play with your duplos and read stories.  Your attention span is honestly quite amazing, you can sit through stories that some third graders would loose patience with- it’s a fact that constantly amazes your Daddy and me.  It also makes your Daddy very proud…he LOVES to read with you and will read any story that you put in front of him, he even reads them multiple times in a row (which you do ask him to do).

Hugs and kisses are plentiful in our house, which I love.  I am pretty sure that you are the sweetest boy that there is; sure, I know I am biased but it  isn’t far from the truth.  You greet everyone that walks through our door with a shy smile and usually by the time they leave you are hugging, kissing them and telling them that you will “see them tomorrow”.  Frequently, for no reason you will walk up to me and plant a big wet (yup- they are usually wet) one on me and follow it will an “I love you, Mommy”- melt.my.heart kiddo, melt my heart!  Just yesterday I was playing with Charlie on the floor while you played with your cars and for no reason at all you stopped what you were doing walked over to Charlie kissed him on the head and told him you loved him.  And you do, you love your little brother in such a way it makes me burst at the seams with pride.  You are always wanting to know what he is doing, you frequently bring him your blanket to use and not just any blanket your favorite I-can’t-sleep-without-this-blanket and when he is crying you will look at me and say “Charlie isn’t very happy” then look at him and tell him it will be okay.  I can’t wait to see your relationship grow as the two of you grow.. how wonderful it will be.

This isn’t to say that our time together is all rainbows and roses kiddo, we have our moments.  You drive me up the wall, I threaten to sell you to the highest bidder before your Dad gets home and when he does get home I say- “take him, he’s your son tonight”.  But honestly, those moments and those bad days are far out-numbered by the good.  I frequently have a hard time believing that two years has already passed since you made me a Mama.  My sweet little Jay Bird, it feels as though you were just born yesterday and yet have always been a part of my life- and maybe you have been, you just resided in my heart until two years ago today.  And what a wonderful day that was-  I fell in love with you the very moment I saw you and that love continues to grow with each passing day.  Every night when we put you to bed I stand in awe of you kiddo… amazed that you are mine, grateful for all the time we get together and looking forward to all that is to come.

I love you sweet boy, happy birthday- here’s to many, many more.



and since we aren’t heading out to take your two year photos until Sunday and because every post is better with a photo here is recent one of you and Dad driving that makes me smile

2 weeks…


Two weeks ago Thursday you surprised everyone by coming 10 days early.  You were ready to be in the world and weren’t going to wait on anyone; not even for your Mama to pack her hospital bag.  In hind sight, I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.  Your Daddy did a great job of packing everything that we needed while we were at the hospital (he sent me photos from his phone to make sure that he had everything right) AND I have already had two precious weeks with you- what more could I ask for?

I am over the moon for you little man; you are precious beyond words and continue to take my breath away daily.  As I write this you are snuggled in on my lap and along with the soft Christmas music I can hear your tiny baby snores… bliss.  Wrapped in two blankets and bundled in your southern miss hat you snooze and I am amazed that you are mine and that I get to be your Mama.  It has taken a while for us to get to know you; you are so different from your brother and so alike at the same time.  You love to be snuggled up, the cozier the better- hence the two blankets, but you don’t want to be swaddled tightly like your brother did.   You like to have one or both arms out of your blanket and near your head (this is a Daddy pose little one and I think it was passed down from Pepere).  Your cry is louder than Jay’s was and you make these brief little hiccup noises and grunt a bunch where Jay sounded more like a pterodactyl when he was your age.  You are a great eater, nursing almost every two hours during the day and less so at night (I thank you for this) and growing like a bad weed.  You weighed in at 8lbs 12oz when we were at the doctor today, having gained 14oz in 2 weeks- wow, little one, wow!  You have a round little face that I recognize from my baby pictures, soft squishy lips and the same button nose as your brother- you are cute, I mean really cute :)

Being a family of four has taken adjusting to.  It hasn’t been a smooth process and we are nowhere near over the adjustment period but we are continuing to work out the kinks as we go and taking it one day at a time.  Jay was a bit jealous when we first came home from the hospital and mostly chose to ignore your existence but he is warming up to you daily.  He refers to you as ‘baby Charlie’ (I really need to get that on video- it’s precious), brings us a paci when you are crying and hugs and kisses you from time to time- although the hugs are more like head locks at this point.  We are working on the concept of being gentle with him- I promise; hopefully it will catch on soon. I can’t wait to see how your relationship will continue to grow and I hope that you will become fast friends.

I can’t cuddle you enough and don’t want to blink because I am afraid that when I do I will open my eyes and you will be a toddler (it happened with Jay- I swear) and I don’t want to miss a minute of this tiny squishy phase.  But at the same time, I love seeing you grow and change before my eyes, what a miracle.  I can’t wait to see what your personality is going to be like and already can’t imagine all that you are going to do with your life.  I have big dreams for you little man, big dreams indeed…

I love you more with each passing day and am so excited to see what tomorrow will bring.  Thanks for coming early to meet us, I love you.



p.s. Your two week stats from the doctors visit today are as follows, you know for posterity’s sake…

8lbs 12oz, 21 inches long- and both are in the 50 percentile- but anyone that has been able to cuddle you knows that there is nothing average about you ;)

a sneak peak from Charlie's "newborn shoot"- precious, isn't he?? more to come soon :)

attitude is a choice

Dear Jay Bird,
This week has been rough.  Honestly, I have been wishing for Friday afternoon and the weekend since the week started on Tuesday.  I know it was even a short week but kiddo, Momma has been running on survival mode just to get through…

You have had a cold ALL week- runny nose, cough, fussy as all get out- it’s the whole shebang and it has not been fun.  I have been covered in more snot and spit up this week than I have in the last 8 months. I feel like we have gone back in time to when you were tiny and spiting up everywhere except you are much bigger and therefore there is much more of it.  It’s gross, I promise.  I have hope that it is your molars giving you trouble; which means there is an end in sight but still it’s tiring.   You have been clingy and needy and haven’t let me put you down much although at the same time you don’t want to be held, you want to reek havoc on everything around you and destroy anything that I have actually had the time to put away.  I tried to walk with you (and Staci) this week just to get out since we didn’t go to story time because of your cold.  You normally really like this but instead you cried for over half of my walk on Wednesday and for the whole 3 miles yesterday.  It was indeed motivation to pick up the pace and get back sooner but it was also motivation that I surely could have done without.  All of this has been exhausting, again, I promise.  I have napped with you twice this week just to make it until dinner and have been in bed one night at 9:30.  On top of being cranky pants with a cold you have not been sleeping or napping well (which I am sure has to do with the cold/teeth).  Your naps have been shorter and you are up longer so you get tired and cranky- see a pattern?  You have also learned the drop-something-and-someone-will-pick-it-up-game; which means everything and I mean EVERYTHING has been tossed at some point or another this week and while I love to watch you learn new things this game could have waited until another week…

On top of all the sick my to do list is about a mile long and it didn’t get touched this week… I have pictures to look at for clients, family and a ton that I have taken for us too.  I have endless projects sitting in various places around the house in one state of completion or another, the piles of laundry are about to consume us, our vacuum has been broken and the house is a mess.  The vacuum may not sound like a big deal but it has been out of commission for a week and a half and we have three furry (super-duper furry) children living in this house too and in the last week it seems like they have multiplied…

I woke up this morning thinking that if I could just vacuum the floors today (Daddy helped me to use duct tape last night as a temporary fix) that I would chalk it up as a win.  I haven’t yet accomplished that BUT today has already been a huge win…

You still have your cold, you are still super touchy and cranky but when I stopped vacuuming to sit on the floor with you for a minute you crawled into my lap and stayed there hugging on me for a good twenty minutes.  This an eternity for you these days but it was the best eternity that I have had in a long time.  Thanks for the reminder kiddo of what’s important.  The majority of my days are filled up with things and all of those “things” can be wonderful or not; it’s just really a matter of how I choose to look at them.  Attitude is a choice little boy and today we choose to smile…

I love you little bird.



happy birthday sweet boy!

one week
one year

Dear Jay Bird,

This year has been quite the adventure and I can’t even begin to describe what it has been like for me and your Daddy. A year ago I was wondering when you would come, what you would look like and who you would be like. Little did I know that I could have never dreamt up how wonderful you would be…

You turned my life upside down the moment they placed you in my arms at the hospital. You had my nose and your Daddy’s eyes and made the sweetest little pterodactyl sounds around; it was music to my ears. I wanted to hold you and cuddle you and never put you down but we had a revolving door of visitors so I had to share. You are one very loved little boy with a whole mess of admirers and you never fail to put on a good show for them.

You make me smile with everything that you do and as I sit here surrounded by your toys with you napping in the next room I find myself at a loss for words. I am sure that anything I say cannot possibly do you justice. You are amazing. You are kind and gentle, you are loud and boisterous but so shy at the same time, you are a thinker and analyze everything, you are cautious and playful all at once. You love to play on your own, dance to music, have stories read to you. You love playing in the tub at bath time, to go outside and watch for birds and airplanes, you love your animals and light up every time time they enter the room. You love peek-a-boo and hide behind everything you can find; even a string or the lace of a shoe. It is such a delight to see your huge smile and your face light up as you hear Daddy and me wondering aloud where you could be. Your endless curiosity is amazing! You are constantly pointing at things and showing us stuff. I am going to miss your “ooh” face terribly when you are able to talk… I love when your eyes light up when you get excited; your whole face shows your joy. I love the way you rest your head on my shoulder when someone you don’t know talks to you, when you snuggle into me when I feed you or when you are drinking your juice before nap time and the way you softly rub your feet together without even knowing that you are doing it- you get that from me by the way… I love the way you rush to the door every evening when Daddy gets home; somedays your little arms can’t keep up with just how fast you would like to go and you tumble over yourself. It is amazing to watch the two of you play; sometimes I find myself just staring you both wondering how I got to be so lucky. I wish I could bottle up your excitement, curiosity and the sound of your laugh. How wonderful it would be to freeze time and for you to be my little baby forever. And while I will admit that I am sad to see this year go, it is so easy to want you to stay this way forever, I can’t wait to see all the great things that are yet to come.

I can’t wait to see the silly things you’ll do, hear the silly things you’ll say or watch you grow into the sweet little boy that you are going to be. I can’t wait to hear you say Momma intentionally or for you to walk to me and that is just the beginning. There are endless possibilities for the things that you can and will accomplish, the sky’s the limit little boy; I hope you constantly remember to reach high. Know that Daddy and I are so very, very proud of you and feel so blessed that you are taking us on this journey with you.

I love you, sweet boy. Happy Birthday!